4 countries and counting so far now, and I still really doubt if the grass is truly greener on the other side. It’s a game of tradeoffs, that’s the best way I can put it. There are pros and cons on each side of the divide. And wherever your chip falls, my heart goes out to you for the perseverance, resilience and relentless drive that you take into each day.
I do not see sellouts; all I see are key choices being made and daring to take on the unknown in search of a better life. And for those that chose the path of optimizing the status quo, I do not see the fear of the unknown, instead I see optimism and hope that a better life abounds regardless and will at some point eventually. The common denominator and base line is the aspiration and yearning for a better life and perhaps a more objective and less sentimental approach to dissect the spectrum.
Trust me, it’s not always a gainful or flawless experience, there are moments of pain and struggles but again trade-offs and evidence of decision made. Clocking countless hours and pushing through extreme weather conditions, dealing with the marginalization and “black ball”, spending each day of your life wading off one stereotype after the other. A typical average day and life in diaspora. The glam on the gram don’t always carry the full picture but we should never for once assume its all a cake walk. That being said, the excellence and the delightful presence that you create doesn’t go unnoticed. Topping the chart and leading the pace miles away from home, flourishing and forming a new nest and having to almost re-invent yourself despite the sometimes-unpalatable circumstances. I salute and see you all. As long as the gains continue to outweigh the price and regardless, you are always in my thought because I understand, I get it, and I am sure many out there get it. Sending my love always.
To those grafting from the other side of spectrum, to those that chose the path of optimizing the status quo. I see how much of dedication and optimism you put in. I see the frustration and having to do it all on your own within a failed system and sub-optimal environment. Through it all, you manage to make the most the out of nothing. One could only imagine what could have been under better circumstances but yet I see no relenting on your faces. You are celebrated and remembered in good stead always. It is not always easy but yet you stand and continue to rise!
This one is dedicated to the ones that got away, the sacrifices that you all daily put in to enhance the realization of your dreams and a better life. Wherever the chips fall or which side of the spectrum you are, we all have the ones that got away and this is an acknowledgement of the existence of the struggles and victories behind your respective stories.
BJA | TDM 
2 responses to “To the ones that got away”
Thanks Thandeka, it is indeed a big burden to lead the line from diaspora but you are spot on. We are ambassadors but there is also a delicate balance, we can’t go into each thinking we have a point to prove. It can be distracting and exhausting. We can aim to be our best selves daily but never forget that we are human and this is the lense through which everyone ideally deserves to be evaluated.
Great article Jay. Especially appreciate the statement on “Topping the chart and leading the pace miles away from home”.
It takes true strength and resilience to be an outsider that strives to be more. There is often a stereotype that lingers in each society about a groups of people they may not identify with. I guess it’s our role to represent and be that contrast that makes people question their views and stereotypes.